Insecurity

Blog, Creativity, Scribbles

Sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, thinking back on my week.

I have painted with acrylics, self-portraits. And, I have had a few hours of nude studies. Perhaps you think now that I will just throw it up like I usually do, nope, I won’t. I want to think for a bit, I want to process my last week for a bit. Don’t get me wrong, it feels good and I do like the practice I have got this week, though where will it take me?

I am studying to become an art and english teacher, though is this all I want? Perhaps I want more, but what is this “more”? Perhaps a more accurate question is where will I take my art? What is my aim? Where will I be setting down my foot in all of this? It doesn’t feel like I am doubting my skills or ability to go forward. I am just unsure of what and where forward is?

If it is art I want to focus on, have the teacher-thing been all for nothing, though at the same time, I do feel good about studying to become a teacher, so perhaps I am where I want to be. Everyone gets unsure at times, though what made me start wonder about all of this is comments and questions and conversations with people around me at school this past week. It also makes me question whether I should have applied for some other university…

Right now it feels good to be home, I had a rough way home last night with cancelled trains and stuff like that. I got home way later than expected and I am still really tired. I have not yet unpacked my work from the university, so when I get to it I will probably also upload it on the web.

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Cheers!

lea

 

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