Feeling out of place

Blog, Scribbles

Today was a big day for me. School started today. I have during my studies to become a teacher always studied as a distance-student, I have created my life around this and I have really liked it. But today I am officially a campus-student for a whole term on the university housing in my town and the one next to it. Change…..

I was quite nervous, but my problem is that when I get nervous I try to relax a bit extra to not be tense and I feel more relaxed than when I am relaxed so I feel all light-headed….. weird I know… well I got on the bus and found the classroom and they called my name, I was there and it felt…. fine…. I still don’t know what to expect really, but it will probably feel a bit better later this week.

I went over to a friend to drink coffee after school, he feels like I am judging my classmates way to fast and my friend on the bus home said I sound a bit bitter… but then I take my time to just try to explain myself. I found that what I am opposing is the simple fact of change really…. I mean I have built up my life around flexibility, as a distance-student I have not really felt like a student, nor have I missed it. I am not really the type to be drunk the first two weeks and party non stop and miss out on school, the main reason I study on the university is to become something. I have finished my teachers degree when summer starts next time and I have started to feel like a “grown up”, like my life is finally starting, school is soon over…. and I am growing out of the whole student thing… and as I did not feel like a student from the beginning it feels like a natural step…. and then when I have one year left I throw myself into this maze and rollercoaster of student life… and that is why I feel out of place… I have gone around preparing to be finished, trying to put my mind into the fact that in one year I will be a teacher for real and that has scared the hell out of me, and when it feels like I starting to land I….just….

Well… I will be doing this course and I think the actual course will be fun! so here it goes… I better jump on the rollercoaster I built and ride it to the very end!

 

But right this moment….it feels good to be home!

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A few good news might be coming my way…update when it is set in stone! ; )

lea

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2 thoughts on “Feeling out of place

  1. Konstvetenskapen som jag läste på Linköping var riktigt bra men också väldigt tuff, mycket kommer på tentorna och de blir långa salstentor. Jag håller med dig om att man växer ur studentlivet när man inte går på campus, så skönt med distans 🙂

    Hoppas du kommer trivas 🙂

    1. Ja, jag tror det ger med sig, och samtidigt innerst inne vill jag leva i verkligheten utanför studentlivet också eftersom om mindre om ett år är det den världen jag kommer leva i : ) helt sjukt att snart bli klar!

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