Today was a big day for me. School started today. I have during my studies to become a teacher always studied as a distance-student, I have created my life around this and I have really liked it. But today I am officially a campus-student for a whole term on the university housing in my town and the one next to it. Change…..
I was quite nervous, but my problem is that when I get nervous I try to relax a bit extra to not be tense and I feel more relaxed than when I am relaxed so I feel all light-headed….. weird I know… well I got on the bus and found the classroom and they called my name, I was there and it felt…. fine…. I still don’t know what to expect really, but it will probably feel a bit better later this week.
I went over to a friend to drink coffee after school, he feels like I am judging my classmates way to fast and my friend on the bus home said I sound a bit bitter… but then I take my time to just try to explain myself. I found that what I am opposing is the simple fact of change really…. I mean I have built up my life around flexibility, as a distance-student I have not really felt like a student, nor have I missed it. I am not really the type to be drunk the first two weeks and party non stop and miss out on school, the main reason I study on the university is to become something. I have finished my teachers degree when summer starts next time and I have started to feel like a “grown up”, like my life is finally starting, school is soon over…. and I am growing out of the whole student thing… and as I did not feel like a student from the beginning it feels like a natural step…. and then when I have one year left I throw myself into this maze and rollercoaster of student life… and that is why I feel out of place… I have gone around preparing to be finished, trying to put my mind into the fact that in one year I will be a teacher for real and that has scared the hell out of me, and when it feels like I starting to land I….just….
Well… I will be doing this course and I think the actual course will be fun! so here it goes… I better jump on the rollercoaster I built and ride it to the very end!
But right this moment….it feels good to be home!
A few good news might be coming my way…update when it is set in stone! ; )