I was just standing doing the washes, which I forgot to do earlier and then my boyfriend reminded me that the clock was 6pm and we agreed to make dinner that time. While standing there my mind wandered, I got more and more irritated, to much dead time to think I guess. I was starting to think how annoying everything is, but couldn’t come up with why I was irritated. I was definitely not irritated on Stefan so I wouldn’t want it to blow up on him for nothing, and then it hit me. I was standing thinking about my own art, and my process to where I am today.
I also got to the root of my irritation, a colleague of mine got under my skin during the week that has passed. We were talking about criteria in the subject of art, and she made a comparison to my own art in a way that made it sound like “my figures” was not a process. And to be clear this is not a punch to her, the way you interpret things is subjective, and this is how I took it to heart because I know I can always do more but there is never enough hours of the day… (yes kicking myself in my inner mind is kind of what I do because I know I can always do better)
If I remember right I got on this path finding my own style when I studied art for 2 years, I think it was in 2011-2013 or something like that. This was the first drawing that started it all.
What I got annoyed over was the fact that it felt like someone was pissing on my process which I know and feel has been a long one to where I stand today. I also feel like I should do more to my art, as if what I am doing with my time isn’t enough. Perhaps I should quit writing in this instant to just continue drawing…Perhaps I should just quit everything and just draw, but that wouldn’t feed me, and besides I love my work as an art teacher.
During the years since the first drawing I have been battling with perspective, body parts, expression, colour, creatures, materials and so on in different periods. When I think I got it I found another way I wanted to try and then the same thing again. And it is still happening.
I think I have actually gotten quite far from where I started. Inspiration is fun and the process is fun and I like creating. I like drawing with model and portraits but I love making stories with my pictures so that is what I want to develop even more. That is also what I want to become, a children’s books illustrator, Hey I even want to make my own with text and all. But I am not there right now. I wanted to finish my teacher’s degree and so I did and now I have my aim on my next dream ❤
I think what really bothers me is the fact that it is very easy to judge other people, to assume things are easy and to assume there is nothing between the ears. But what if people started to ask questions instead, to be curious and actually ask before judging. I am all for the constructive way of discussing creativity, I have found that hollow judging don’t get anyone anywhere while judging with constructive comments on how to continue the work actually gives development within the field discussed. I am all in on the constructive dialogue.
My hopes are that people start asking questions instead of simply judging without basis. And if there is no time to have the conversation, well lucky you, you just got yourself into a date with coffee and sweets and lots of time to converse ❤